Male Riders and Female Riders

After riding for a couple of years now, both passenger and solo, I've learned a great deal about the views of riders across the board. The least spoken view which really seems to be an underlying, festering problem is often the issues male riders have riding with female riders, and visa versa.

I believe most men believe women should ride if they want to ride. But fitting into the culture of male riders is much like breaking into the Old Boys Club. If resistance is felt by the men, it's probably not for the reasons women tend to assume. I don't believe that any negative feelings or appearances are from prejudice, as many women may think. It's not about doubting a woman's ability to handle a motorcycle, or their right to do so. I think it really goes to the differences between the way men and women work in society.

Many men complain among themselves that women take too long to get on and off the motorcycles. I'm guilty of this, often. I've done my best to limit my prep time getting off to go into a place and getting back on again. My dear, patient, poor hubs often waits while I adjust my helmet, turn on my music, zip my jacket, put on my gloves, find my glasses and THEN start the bike up. Believe me, my process used to be longer, but I've done my best to shorten it from 5 or 6 minutes to about 3 minutes. When he reaches for the check in the restaurant, I start my process right away. Often times I can walk out and jump right on now. Aside from that, I can't tell you how many times I think I'm geared up to walk out the door and realize I have to pee one more time. Seriously, this angers me probably more than it irritates him. But he is very patient and for that I'm grateful.

He told me a story about Loni, a woman he once rode with, who took nearly 15 minutes to go from getting TO the motorcycle to getting ON the motorcycle to leave. Arranging saddlebags, changing jackets, putting on lipstick, etc., caused the other riders in the group to wait, just baking in the sun. To be fair, anyone holding up a group for this kind of time, male or female, should realize this is just damn rude. But chicks like this give biker chicks a bad name.

I get a great deal of advice from male riders about how to ride. I love getting advice, but many women find it insulting. They compare the amount of advice men give to each other to the amount of advice men give to women and assume that men are being condescending. But not me. Most men like to care for women, help them, and know they are safe. How can any woman find this insulting? I love to be cherished, so when I see or hear advice, I heed it and am grateful that anyone, male or female, wants to help me. To me, I listen to advice, heed it, and use what I choose to use. Just getting advice doesn't require one to adhere to it.

Another observation I've made is the desire for women to belong to men's riding and/or motorcycle clubs. To me, this has very little to do with riding and more to do with the invasion of women into a men's social group. I don't think many women regard the importance of men having their own place to be with men and bond. Men need each other, just as women do, to help one another establish their male identities. Respecting that boundary that men choose to set down is crucial for respecting men in general. The relationships between men is sacred, in all cultures, and always has been and always will be. In my humble opinion, I don't see any reason for any woman to want to invade that. I realize this is not a very feminist viewpoint, but it is my viewpoint, nonetheless.

To be honest, I've not met a man yet who doesn't think I should ride. Most men look at Highway in astonishment and envy assuming he has "coerced" me into taking this 6-month journey. The idea that a woman would follow a man traveling on motorcycles for 6 months enthralls them, with most remarking they wish their wives would do this. I'm flattered to be regarded so highly, but the truth is, this is my trip as much as it's my hubs.

Lastly, I will never in my life understand a woman who doesn't want her husband to ride. I've heard it all and I don't want to argue the point. I get it, you know, what the reasons are, but I just can't understand WHY a woman would want to fight this with her man. My personal belief has always been to let a man BE A MAN! To set rules for him, argue, undermine, belittle, bargain, or manipulate a man into behaving a certain way only emasculates him. It is a form of neutering him, in the purest sense. I don't want to be married to a chick, or a unic. If I didn't want a man with balls, I wouldn't have married one. Let a man be a man! His opinions, beliefs, ideals and desires are as important to him as his dick. Let him own that!

Please share with me your viewpoints on this subject, openly and honestly, in the comments below. I'm excited to hear them all. If I'm wrong, in your opinion, I want to hear it.